Tonight, the year 2005 draws to an end. What happens in the next year, is for the future to unfold in its mystic ways. Some of us will be here for this same day, one year from now, welcoming 2007 with gusto. Calendars and new years are but nuances of the calendar makers. There would be quite a number of new years if we abide by all the existing calendars. Well, the Gregorian calendar dictates that tomorrow will see the dawn of a new year. On with 2006 Anno Domini...
May this year be one, brimming with life, in all your lives.
Merry New Year...
Saturday, December 31, 2005
2006...The Dawn of a New Year
Thursday, December 29, 2005
slipping....
Am slipping into the abyss. The funny fact is that I am consciously letting myself go deeper and deeper into the dark river of muck, a river which is dark even in broad daylight. It’s a river where all the filth of life merge to continue its journey downstream. No one knows where this river ends. People have been caught by the undercurrents and swept away to the Fringe of the river. That is the place where one loses all consciousness. The river flows demonically at the Fringe. It sweeps away everything and leaves no traces of life. Yes, it is scary. Its more like a water ride in some devilish theme park where you just can’t get off the ride, if you have rode along for some time. You might want to get out of the river of filth to try a new hand at life. But, by then, the river consumes your soul and deprives you of your ability to make decisions. One’s vision becomes kaleidoscopic if one dares to take a dip in the murky waters. You will see life, in its most primitive form. Yes, you will see life. The very essence of living becomes evident. Purpose is the driver of life. You will see life forms living out their purposes. Once a purpose has been fulfilled, the immediate concern is to create a new purpose to live for. Else, the chances of it getting swept beyond the Fringe of life are high. Somehow, life-forms seem to have an affinity towards life itself, be it random occurrence or pre programmed sequence. Life becomes so much simpler if there is a driving purpose to it. Most of the actions performed will probably be aimed to aid in the completion of that purpose. Losing that purpose will create a malfunctioning organism. Human life has its quirks. I don’t know if animals understand anything about needing a purpose to live. But it has been ingrained in them it seems. They know they have to live and give their share to the world. They must be blessed in a sense, as they don’t seem to be able to understand, or ponder about their mundane lives. Some humans are quite the opposite. They lose direction in life, and they start wondering about the path lying ahead. Questions naturally swell in the idle, yet inquisitive mind. Each one gives rise to a new one, and will terminate at some question to which there is no satisfactory answer as of now. Sometimes, one feels beyond the purview of this world. The world is a different place from that person’s eyes. He sees it as a circus show. The so called values, so much needed in the normal world lose their values and a state of gross anarchy prevails. For example, a student might understand(wrongly or not, I don’t know) that examinations are a futile and pointless exercise. The priorities get redistributed. From what I know, it is possible to get into that state due to sudden shocks and deep emotions of sorrow and anger. Once you see the world from a startlingly different perspective, it’s pretty difficult to get rid of that view. But, it probably helps in increasing your awareness of the bigger picture. Then again, you might feel that piecing it all together is pretty much worthless. Depression is a stone’s throw away from this state. When you recover, things don’t remain the way they were. They may slowly return to their old priorities. Yet, things suddenly get distorted quite often when something disconcerting happens. It might be for the better, or for the worse, depending on your perspective.
What was I trying to talk about here? Yeah, about me slipping into the abyss. This is a game where one tries to find out one’s limits through trial and error experiments. The purposeless man sometimes allows himself to indulge in futile exercises such as these. The challenge to recover becomes his purpose. Life is still strong within, it seems.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Legal Racism
We live in a nation, which is the largest democracy on the planet earth. Our constitution has granted us the right to equality. Our great reformers have tried to uproot the all pervasive caste system of yore. Yet, in the 21st century, we the people, doggedly hang on to the very evil that so many enlightened souls have tried to eradicate. What is going to be expressed below is strictly my personal opinion and not meant to hurt anyone or any class/caste/religion.
I believe that the current sops and reservations offered to the under privileged classes are outdated. Its time to move on to a newer system of reservations. One thing which I have seen over the years, is that the majority of the people who actually get things done through various walks of education are usually financially well off. The reason for this in the ultra competitive world is obvious enough. The financially empowered people have the best coaching and materials at their behest. They can utilize them to further themselves in the walk of life. The not so well-off people, on the other hand, usually get bogged down by some problem or the other, and usually the root cause can be traced to money, or the paucity of it. I have this feeling that if the current class based reservation system for various avenues are replaced by a strictly enforced financial status based reservation concept, it would actually give the country a rapid and balanced boost in its deveopment, as more and more people are empowered. Yet, I see more and more religions jostling the government for giving them more reservations. This nation is being milked and suffocated at the same time. And where is that fundamental right to equality these days? Perhaps I am misinterpreting the right to equality, since it might be the right to equality before the law alone.
And, I wish all of you a Merry Christmas...
Thursday, December 22, 2005
The mad one got lucky!!!
Some days ago, I had deleted my blog; this blog, the blog of in(S)anity, in an amused fit. I have felt regretful about this for a few minutes after I had deleted it. I thought it was time to move on. Still, something inside me cried out loud that nothing can replace the original words. Yet, it was impossible to do so.
Tonight, fortune favored me. I searched for my old posts on Google and was surprised to see that the snapshots of the old blog was still in Google Cache. Memories from May to December, recreated, republished, thanks to Google. I am afraid that I couldn't retrieve all the wonderful comments, received by the posts. Its a pity. Some were magnificent..
And the event which had triggered this search was an instant message...
divya hv (12/22/2005 12:24:47 AM): damn........a google search of insane mind doesnt show ur page!
And suddenly, I wanted to see if Google had no record of my old blog.
I am deliriously happy right now. I have published approximately 55 posts in the span of about an hour. I can't find words to express my feelings. Its like the return of the prodigal son. I, being the prodigal one. Not the blog.
I love you.........Google..........
A Madman's Thoughts
A Madman's Thoughts
There is absolutely nothing in this world that matters. Nothing is eternal. Even the sun and the stars have a life cycle, like us living beings. Why do we have a joruney of life through this realm? Why this procession towards certain death?
Consider the Point A, which is the starting point in life, and you are to reach Point B, the moment of death. You could take any random or preconceived route thorugh life to reach Point B. But, the bottomline is you still reach Point B.
Let's look at this scenario in a different perspective. There are two points A and B marked on a piece of paper. One could draw an infinite number of lines between them. Choosing your route from Point A to Point B can be pretty vexing for most. The most efficient way to join these two points would be to join them using a straight line, on the plane of the paper. That is normal life, as the world percieves. There are, however, many many ups and downs and loops in that single line, that it may actually do quite a number of fancy turns before it reaches its final destination, viz. Point B.
Consider this scenario. The paper is folded up so that points A and B touch each other. You join them. They would be joined in the fastest manner possible, and probably the most efficient because of that. Isn't that a path which should be admired for its effectiveness? There is zero distance between A and B. Isn't this the death of an infant at its birth? What if, one tries to do this oneself. Of course, he cannot go back in time kill himself, with today's technology. Perhaps, he could consider the present moment as his Point A, and venture to go straight to Point B, without traversing the zigzag line in between.
Society,in general, detests suicides. But then there's hara kiri and seppuku which are performed to keep one's honour in death. How about the suicide bomber who blows himself up to kill his religion’s enemies, and get a passport to heaven? Different cultures have different perspectives on suicides. Why is the world too worked up about suicides? They provide a fast route to the next realm, if there is one; or perhaps a fresh start in the form of rebirth into this very world which one tries to leave behind. Then again there's the alluring prospect of a warm bed in 'hell.'
Perhaps this can be explained in terms of the society's need to be strong in numbers, for its survival. In olden days, it may have been that a live clan member was worth more than the food he consumed. Then again, we could see another world; one that has been ravaged by war or nuclear winter. There could be a shortage of survival resources. There could be billions of starvation and exposure deaths. Such a society might conceive the idea of giving a holy interpretation to suicides, since that would actually promote the society's survival through the harsh times. It can always revert back to the old customs, once its roots have strengthened once again.
This might not happen. There might be other potential scenarios, which history may or may not have shown us. I am a mere man. My knowledge is limited. Knowledge is something which one can never grasp in its wholeness. Perhaps, the supreme being would be the universally cognizant one? There are questions raging among us about this being(s)'s very existence.
There are quite a lot of things about this world that we live in, that we do not know. Playing a game without knowing the rules, is a foolhardy business. We do that every day, choosing to ignore our ignorance. Some brood, while others try to derive pleasure from their days here. There are also the sage like ones. Such a motley mix are we, the rabble.
Our priorities are distributed in a manner which suits our earthly needs. Then again, there are the religions which exhort one to let go of everything and attain eternal bliss. There are also the ones which call for sacrifice after sacrifice, till the culmination of life at Point B. The fact is that we do not know what we should do to gain peace/wisdom/heaven/hell/moksha. Then again, is peace/wisdom/etc. the next level in store for us? Or does the game end here?
We play a game, without knowing its rules, not knowing how to win, lose or draw; and not knowing what lies ahead after the game is over. And about the rules of the game. Are there any rules?
courtesy to divs for her idea about one's freedom to choose one's route in life, which inspired this post...
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Tuesday, December 13, 2005
45 comments
the 3rd person effect
the 3rd person effect
A trance. You see yourself as another. Someone over whom you can exercise control. Someone who’s yourself. You wonder as he glides through life. Get amused at his weaknesses. He lives on the edge. A little wind would blow his life away. Yet he thrives, or rather tries his luck in life. And he does have a little success there. He faces innumerable challenges and hardships. He overcomes some, and some overcome him. Life continues on its never ending journey. But wait. He is a mortal. His days are numbered. Or are they? Only time has the answer to that. Such an overused cliché, yet appropriate for all seasons.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Friday, December 09,
Playtime
The weather is funny here. Bright as a torch in one second, and as dark as the apocalypse in the next. The heavens are pouring down at unexpected times. Little pools of water stagnate outside. The sun is reflected into my room by these ever vibrating pools. I watch the reflections play around, making abstract designs on the walls. Suddenly, they disappear, making way for the dark, only to return frolicking, a few moments later.
Off season rains are playing havoc here in
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, November 30, 2005
14 comments
A Tag
Got tagged by Auster. Here are the ten goody two shoes commandments and how I differ…
10. Thou shall study your lessons daily and go to the best tuition centre in the town.
9. Thou shall listen to melodious Mallu and Hindi music. Your taste may go up to the extent of listening to pop songs like that of Westlife, BSB etc and like the songs liked by your peers. Hardrock and Metal are strict no-nos.
8. Thou shall see good mallu movies and hindi movies. Only the hyped up english movies shall be seen.
7. Sports and games are essential only in theory. Thou shall take part in it at your free time and your vacation.
6.
5. Thou shall respect your teachers and follow every word they say and write notes and complete your assignments before everybody else.
4. Thou shall not swear and berate others. No drinking and smoking.
3. Thou shall follow your parents wishes and their fantasies.Thou shall study hard and score 90+ in Xth, 85+ in XIIth and 80+ for graduation.
2. Your aim should be to do well in entrance exams and get into
1. Thou shall not fall in love. If you do make sure the girl is your caste, not poor etc. Marry a girl of the parents' choosing and have kids. Then the raise the kids on the above principles.
How do I measure up?
10. I never study daily. I hate tuitions.
9. I like classic Mallu and Hindi music. Boybands and girly pop are a no-no. Industrial rock, techno, and Kitaro seems to be my flavour these days.
8 . I don’t see Mallu/Hindi movies. Am on a rigorous diet of good English/Japanese movies.
7. PC games are my daily cup of tea. I like watching sports(other than cricket), from a safe distance.
6. I love reading. I don’t like reading as a part of my studies though. I have read the 1st Harry Potter book and am still confused about why the world was hooked to the rest.
5. I have had the same single notebook for the last two semesters. I rest my case. And, I am a very fast copy-writer when it comes to assignments.
4. No drinking and smoking. Swearing is rare. I don’t get that upset easily.
3. To hell with wishes and fantasies. My life is mine. But, have done the goody two shoes bit for the 10th and 12th.
2. Been there, done that.
1. No one can predict the future.
My semester exams start from tomorrow. Might take a break cos of that...
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Monday, November 28, 2005
15 comments
Life's End
Life's End
So this is where
I end up living -
Five feet of snow.
Where I come from
Even flies
Bite.
-
Issa(1763-1827)
.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Sunday, November 27, 2005
15 comments
Little things
Little things
The flapping of a single butterfly's wing today produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time, what the atmosphere actually does diverges from what it would have done. So, in a month's time, a tornado that would have devastated the Indonesian coast doesn't happen. Or maybe one that wasn't going to happen, does. (Ian Stewart, Does God Play Dice? The Mathematics of Chaos, pg. 141)
We never know how our little deeds dramatically alter the future.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Tuesday, November 22, 2005
7 comments
Death of a Star
Death of a Star
Eddie Guerrero has passed away. He was found dead Sunday morning in his hotel room in Minneapolis. Eddie is survived by his wife Vickie and daughters Shaul, 14, Sherilyn, 9, and Kaylie Marie, 3. He had just turned 38 last month.
Eddie was one of my favourite WWE wrestlers. The man was immensely likeable, with or without any kayfabe. He will be missed.
He had a constant struggle against drugs and alcohol in the early part of his life. It had nearly claimed his life more than once. The man had reformed himself four years ago and was celebrating four years of sobreity with his family earlier this year. The reports say that early drug abuse had caused the veins in his heart to get contracted, and his continuous excercise regimen kept making his heart grow larger. This was the cause for his deep sleep on that fateful 14th of November 2005.
I'd never thought that I would be so emotionally affected by the death of a person whom I have seen only on television. May Eddie's soul rest in peace.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Thursday, November 17, 2005
17 comments
The wall is mended
The wall is mended
Hole in the wall, one of my friend's blogs has suddenly shut down by her because She doesent think she has any reason to blog any more:(.While i agree she has every right to quit blogging, every one of us has the right to persuade her to come back! The reason I started blogging is that so many of my friends were sharing so much of themselves,It felt bad being selfish , and not sharing myself, be it pun, chronicle , or boring techie review.So I hope In ernest that she reconsiders her decision.After all, this is not the first time one of my friends has decided to quit.
"Better Fences make Better neighbours"
But its the holes that make em fun:)
She will be missed , and her smileys, the ones with the noses ;-) especially!
so said kickassso the in(s)ane one @ Monday, November 14, 2005
17 comments
A Tale of 20 Things
A Tale of 20 Things
Chips Cool tagged me to do this. I 've to write 20 things about myself. I usually put off tags. But, I am doing this on a deadline, so here goes…
1. I am a very lazy person. At times, I can get on anyone’s nerves due to this endearing quality of mine.
2. On the other hand, I can become very active when it comes to the matter of helping out my friends.
3. Altruism is also my biggest problem. I am a pushover.
4. I prefer riding a motorbike to driving a car. It is more involving and in-your-face.
5. Some people say that only morons watch WWE. I proudly admit that I am a moron.
6. I have been a hometown boy all my life. Born and brought up in Thiruvananthapuram.
7. I plan to get out of this town, and see more of the world as soon as it becomes possible to do so.
8. I am all for the cause of peace. It makes me feel bad to see so much suffering in this world. But then, that is life, and we have to accept it as that.
9. I like watching a lot of movies. Most of which are “art films”. One of my favourite movies is “Apocalypse Now Redux.”
10. I am a book addict. E-books or Hardcopies, I’ll read anything and everything. I had this habit of going to the Public Library and borrowing random books and reading them irrespective of whether they were good or bad. And, I have always been a sucker for children’s books.
11. I find it easy to get along with most people. I love humanity, though I might be disgusted by humans at times.
12. I am a very bad liar. People can easily figure out whether I am fibbing or not.
13. My style sense is zero.
14. The only sport which interests me other than the WWE (which is not technically a sport), is Formula One racing. I am a Michael Schumacher fan.
15. I am a student of Wing Chun and Hung Gar styles of kungfu.
16. My will power is slightly greater than zero.
17. I like playing computer games. I am a big cheater in games.
18. I can get philosophical when life gives me slaps in the face.
19. I don’t have a religion, though I believe in God,
20. I don’t want to live to a ripe old age. Don’t ask me why.
It might be interesting to know that I did this tag in 20 minutes…..
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Thursday, November 10, 2005
29 comments
Moving on
Moving on
Bearing witness to the passage of time is no little thing. Each moment passes away, without most of the players not knowing that a little bit of their lives, an irretrievable (so far, at least) experience is passing them by. If only, it were possible to remind oneself of this fact, all the time. I believe that, it would make any sane person appreciate the invaluable nature of time and make corrections to his/her life to make the best out of what’s left of life.
The yin-yang concept of the ancient Orientals is one the best ways to describe the mystery of life itself. Where there is darkness, light will surely come in the future. Bright spots too get marred by dark patches. Such is the rollercoaster of life. When there are sudden dark patches, a feeling of utter helplessness sometimes occurs.
You become disoriented, not knowing what to do next. Despair looms ominously over your shoulders. A depressive spell may be awaiting you. There is a way out from this. There maybe many such ways, but I personally think that, talking about the situation, to a friend, proves to be very effective in making you reclaim the realm of normalcy.
Such reality checks have both good, as well as bad sides. The good thing about it is that you will try to figure out what had gone wrong, and perhaps plan to avoid it in the future. This apparently seems like a good thing. The bad part is that, if you linger too much delving into the reasons of your being what you are, your self esteem might hit an all time low; and a quicker path to depression is hard to find. The key is to move on, I believe.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, November 09, 2005
19 comments
Sins
Sins
Sins are something which have always intrigued me. If you take a look at the world's religions, the unifying factor is the concept of good and bad, the existence of sins, retribution and salvation, manifested in myriad forms.
What is a sin? Who decides whether one thing is a sin or not? These questions have welled up in my mind, quite often. Nowadays, the theme has changed slightly. The question now is,
Do sins exist?
I feel that the whole hype about sins is a misplaced notion which is common to the majority of human beings. I do not subscribe to the concept of sins at all. For bolstering this point of view, my take on God should be understood.
I don't know whether there is a God(s) or not. Frankly I didn't care. Of late, I have had lots of time to moot about mundane mysteries like these.
My vision is somewhat like this. There could be a super being known as God who watches over the happenings of this world.
My God is a being who watches over the world, like a man who watches fish in a fish tank. For the purpose of entertainment. It(the God) wouldn't care as to the fairness(?) of the life inside the tank. Hell, do we ask fish to stand in line for the fishfood?
Its total chaos. Its beautiful. Sometimes, when it pleases the God, It might decide to get a piece of the action for Itself and might set things as It likes. Be it good or evil, according to our frail human concepts. If you have an aquarium, will you be tallying the karma or sins or such things, committed by your fish? I don't think so.
That brings us back to the original question. Do sins exist? Even if they do, do they matter at all?
What a wonderfully ignorant world...
:-)
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Friday, November 04, 2005
22 comments
Ad Hoc Musings
Ad Hoc Musings
I detest the very idea of living in a world which is pretty much pointless. Surrounded by people who care for the silliest of causes, blowing things totally out of proportion. Once someone gets an opportunity to stamp his authority on a fellow being, the chances are that he never lets it go to waste. The least trivial matter suddenly becomes one of the very motives of that individual's life. As if it attaining supremacy will make them feel like god. I was a person like that. I still am like that at times. I have changed a lot over these few months. The pretty picture that was my life got distorted, and shards of darkness marred it, and finally a nightmare emerged. I feel in control at times. I am helpless at others.
One of my classmates was asking me a few moments ago about the reasons which have caused this metamorphosis. I won't divulge them right now. I am not ready for it, though it would help a lot. You can't dig up shit about yourself and announce it to the world, since that is illogical. Between spurts of self destructive spells and insanity, I chanced upon a greater truth. A truth which tells me that everything that we percieve is trivial.
It makes me laugh at times, when I see the little people diligently pursue their mundane or adventurous lives, as the case may be. There is nothing in this world which is worth living for, to use an overused cilche. At other times, I feel sad for these same people. There are also times when I get driven to the fringes of losing sanity. Tolerance is the path that I must pursue to achieve a harmonious coexistence. People are out there, waiting for a chance to take a bite out of you. Let them bite, and sate their hunger. The second you turn your back, the seeds of malignance germinate and they start feeding on negative emotions. Deception is everywhere. I ought to know that, since I am more chameleon than human these days.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, November 02, 2005
11 comments
Precious Little Time
Precious Little Time
Time is really getting stretched for me. I have exams looming ahead and I am still bogged in the depths of lab records and drawing sheets.
I have chanced upon a book named Karma Yoga by Swami Vivekananda and have started reading it. The main thing in it so far, is that one should work for work's sake and be indifferent towards the fruits of labour. Words of wisdom, from the Gita.
Pondering on that point,
I sign off...
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Thursday, October 20, 2005
21 comments
What is My World View?
What is My World View?
You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.
Cultural Creative
100%
Postmodernist
75%
Idealist
69%
Modernist
69%
Existentialist
63%
Fundamentalist
44%
Materialist
44%
Romanticist
31%
What is Your World View? (updated)
created with QuizFarm.com
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Sunday, October 16, 2005
11 comments
They say that I'm Schizoid...I'm now Paranoid
Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||| 38%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||| 70%
Schizotypal |||||||||||| 42%
Antisocial |||||||||||||| 58%
Borderline |||||| 30%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 42%
Narcissistic |||||||||| 38%
Avoidant |||||||||||||| 54%
Dependent |||||||||| 38%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||| 18%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Sunday, October 16, 2005
8 comments
Freak Chances
Freak Chances
Who are you, mortal?
What are you, mortal?
You are a mass of organic material.
A huge cluster of atoms.
A collection of sub atomic particles.
Or maybe, even strings of particle energy,
Vibrating to oblivion.
You are constrained, and
You obey the laws of physics.
You don’t have true freedom.
Are you a slave then, mortal?
The laws of physics;
Are redefined every year..
With further knowledge,
Old knowledge becomes
Outdated knowledge;
Science is but made of assumptions.
You live.
Why do you live?
God gave you life?
Or did freak chance wreak that favour?
Are you real?
Are you a dream?
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Sunday, October 09, 2005
23 comments
Action packed week
Action packed week
After a long break, classes have resumed with a bang, at college. I was looking forward to these classes as there was a feeling that I am being wasted while being at home, doing pretty much nothing that is of consequence, for the past three weeks.
The same old teachers come everyday and give us long and tiring lectures, during which we hold intense discussions about the latest gossips around the college or make hypotheses about the future and how it may turn out. These hypotheses do not concern the future which might happen. They instead focus on things like world domination, how to drive
Among other news, the attendance figures of this semester were published today. The
The subtle point to be noted is that there is only about a week or so of classes to go and getting 75% attendance will be a tough challenge. Some people have duty leaves and the like to be added to the percentage calculations. Others are in danger of getting a condonation of attendance, which is a procedure by which we are allowed to write the exams, by special permission. By the looks of it, the majority of my class mates (incuding me) will probably have to apply for condonation.
The week ahead of me seems really action packed. We have to complete about ten more lab experiments (which translates to 10 + 10 = 20 , considering the rough and fair records), submit around four assignments, submit reports of industrial training and seminars, and the oh-so-painful drawing sheets(tons of them). One thing that I like about hectic days is that since your mind is filled with thoughts about how to complete the work before the deadlines, you don’t get time to introspect at all. As for me, I don’t get the feeling of getting “wasted” if I am immersed in some activity at college, or anywhere else.
I don’t particularly fancy my college, though it is not as hateful as my school was. I like to be there at the college to be part of the action there, ie. the usual shit. One thing that has come to my notice is that most of my friends at my college have come to develop a deep rooted hatred for the place. Some of my friends from other colleges too voice their opinions reflecting similar feelings. There is also the other extreme of the spectrum, the people who are sad to leave the college “so soon”. I don’t think that I will ever miss this place, or any other place, for that matter. I do not hate the college, but I certainly do not love it. There would definitely be valid reasons for the “hate” or “love” of the college, by various persons. My attitude to life is pretty much an indifferent one, and I am not an extremist. I don’t think that I can ever be passionate about any cause. I do admire such traits in others, though often, I wonder why are they getting carried away by the root cause of the concerned passion. To each his/her own, I guess.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, October 05, 2005
25 comments
A quiz...Spongebob...And some controversies...
A quiz...Spongebob...And some controversies...
Which cartoon describes your personality?
You are SpongeBob SquarePants :
You are the classic person that everyone loves. You
are the best friend anyone could ever want to
have and never want to lose. You never cause
harm to anyone and they would never not
understand your feelings. Life is a journey
it's funny and calm for the most part. Stay
away from traitors and jealous people & then
you will be stress free.
Which cartoon describes your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla
This quiz has labelled me as 'SpongeBob Squarepants'. I had started watching Spongebob about two years ago ( yes, I still love cartoons! ). I like watching it because of the slap stick yet very witty episodes occurring at Bikini Bottom, the abode of Spongebob and his invertebrate(mostly) friends.
SpongeBob has also faced flak about some pretty gay things. Right wingers have accused this cartoon of promoting the tolerance of homosexuality. Check out that controversy here.
Ciao!
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Saturday, October 01, 2005
17 comments
Mr. Bourne…What have they done to you….
Mr. Bourne…What have they done to you….
A man named David Webb had lost his family in Cambodia when an unidentified air plane strafed them while they were in a river, during the course of the Vietnam War. His rage was fueled by their loss. In his rage he joined the Medusa, the untouchables of the elite corps in Vietnam. He became a killing machine. The men of Medusa had no names. He became Delta One, of Medusa.
Carlos the 'Jackal' was a legendary name in the international assassination circles by that time. Something had to be done about it. Alexander Conklin, of the Central Intelligence Agency saw the killer in Delta One and recruited him for an assignment to lure out the Jackal and eliminate him. He was to go undercover as a rival assassin challenging the supremacy of Carlos. Delta had once executed a traitor named Jason Bourne, in a suicide mission during his stint in the Medusa. Bourne was Missing In Action on paper. The man who had executed Jason Bourne took his name for this assignment which was labeled as Operation Treadstone.
Bourne’s calling cards were planted whenever a high profile assassination was undertaken in the Far East. A free agent with a panache for assassination. Bourne soon shifted his base of operations to Europe, posing a direct challenge to the Jackal. He even assumed the code name Cain. Alpha Bravo Charlie Delta… Cain’s for Charlie. Carlos was Charlie. Cain was replacing Charlie. The message was clear. Bourne's life as a provocateur had begun.
Two years had gone past since the identity of Bourne was assumed by Delta. In an encounter around that time, a bullet was fired at Delta and he ended up floating in the high seas, more dead than alive, when a fishing vessel picked him up, and an alcoholic British doctor nursed him back to his health at the Isle de Port Noir, France. Bourne had lost his memory. He was an amnesia victim. He didn't know who he was. A film embedded in his body, however, was recovered by the doctor and it revealed a Swiss bank account number and password. Bourne was on his way to recover his identity, haunted by the Jackal and the CIA, which had thought that Bourne had gone rogue. This quest for his identity has been immortalized in the Robert Ludlum classic “The Bourne Identity”.
A deadly dance between Bourne and the minions of Carlos and the Jackal himself, made the reader tense as he leafed through the pages. En route to his identity Marie St. Jacques, a Canadian economist enters his life and helps him on his way. Marie is a central character in the Bourne trilogy. “The Bourne Identity” was followed by the “The Bourne Supremacy” and “The Bourne Ultimatum”.
The second book of the series is the most gripping one of the trilogy. Bourne is blackmailed by the U.S government to return to the killing fields of Hong Kong and terminate another assassin who had assumed the name of Jason Bourne. The ultimate coercion is depicted here when his wife was kidnapped by the government to make David Webb become Delta One for its own gruesome purposes.
In “The Bourne Ultimatum”, the ghost of the erstwhile Medusa and the Jackal himself catch up with Bourne to haunt him and his family. Jason Bourne is pitted against the Jackal for the final time and the Jackal goes down in Novgorod, the very place which marked his training as an assassin, a KGB spy training compound. As Ilich Ramirez Sanchez aka Carlos the Jackal meets his end in the raging cold waters of a Russian river, the series is completed and Bourne is a tired old man, looking forward to his new lease of life.
I respect the character of Delta One. Delta is a fictional character who demands respect, and rightfully receives it from every reader. The stage has been now set for the subject matter of this post.
Two movies have been made to date, allegedly about Jason Bourne. Some of you must have had the opportunity to see “The Bourne Identity” and “The Bourne Supremacy”. The movies are quite good(if the viewer hasn't had the opportunity to read the trilogy), although the Bourne in the movies has absolutely no similarity to Delta One. The pivotal character of Carlos is also missing in both the movies. Bourne's wife, the lovely Canadian economist Marie St. Jacques Webb is depicted as a gypsy student in the first movie, and she is shot dead in the second movie. These movies make me feel like crawling into some foxhole.
The final (?) nail in Jason Bourne’s coffin came when a fourth book was released, written by another author. It was titled as “Robert Ludlum’s The Bourne Legacy” by Eric van Lustbader. Lustbader is a writer renowned for his Nicholas Linnear series of novels. He is indeed a master of the Orient. However, in “The Bourne Legacy”, Lustbader insensitively treats Bourne as just another CIA rogue operative and Marie is given a passing reference, as if by an afterthought. Bourne is totally different from the man I have grown accustomed to. Has Lustbader ever read the Bourne trilogy before? I had a pretty hard time trying not to kill myself when I finished reading “The Bourne Legacy”.
Why are they destroying Mr.Bourne in such a manner? The legend of Jason Bourne was indeed so powerful that even I could try writing a sequel to the trilogy with a better result, which would keep Bourne as himself, not as a gimmick. It is very painful to see a great character being destroyed in the never ending process of profiteering.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Monday, September 26, 2005
29 comments
The effect of Dormancy
The effect of Dormancy
I have some long days ahead of me. They are not fraught with hard work or perils. They are long because I have absolutely nothing to do in these holidays. Most of my classmates are out on a south India tour and here I am, wasting myself every day.
The college was always a nuisance to me. A place where I wouldn’t go but for the sake of getting the mandatory attendance records. Life’s been pretty hectic ever since I have joined this place. There is usually very little time to spare. There are quite a lot of things to keep me busy. I never liked being busy. I loathe writing lab records. I hate spending hours and hours in front of a drawing sheet giving shape to obscure windings and motor parts. Hell, I even used to say with pride that I would give anything to get away from the college, and to spend my time lazing away at nothing. Watching movies, reading books, eating gourmet food and playing computer games. I have always considered myself to be the essence of the word ‘laziness’.
An interesting revelation came when I came to know that our two week vacation for Onam was being extended as the class was going on a ten day industrial visit/tour. At first it was a peculiar feeling that I was missing something. I tried watching a lot of movies and moving around the town flitting from one place to another on my bike, usually accompanied by some friend.
The feeling became a sort of malaise in a few days’ time. I missed my college. I missed the dog’s work which awaited me there. A feeling that I am not being productive has invaded the interiors of my soul. I can’t wait for the classes to resume. It seems that I am not the person I know. This discovery is unnerving and funny at the same time, to say the least.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Thursday, September 22, 2005
22 comments
Squeezed for Space in 55 words
Squeezed for Space in 55 words
Got tagged by Shrutz. Had to write a story in 55 words... Having nothing bettter to do at t.i.m.e classes, I did that tiresome chore there. *whew* Here goes nothing...
" Unseeing eyes were staring at him. He didn't like their unwanted attention. He was once a notorious spy, trained to blend in with the crowds. Now, he was sprawled in front of the Senate, soked in red. Never had he believed in the 'undead' before. Gazing at his 'live' audience, his ghost chuckled in silence. "
I am not passing this tag on.
:)
Anyone who is interested, can try it...
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, September 21, 2005
14 comments
Update on Experiments with Life
Update on Experiments with Life
About half an hour after I had posted "Experiments with life", I received an SMS from the 'stranger', which magically undid the chaos, and restored order; so to say...
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Monday, September 19, 2005
8 comments
Experiments with Life
Experiments with Life
Been a hectic week. An old friend became a stranger in one night's time. Human minds are unpredictable indeed. I try to be unpredictable. It feels good not to be in control. But, what is control? There is no control. Only an illusion of control exists. Choices alone exist.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Sunday, September 18, 2005
16 comments
Life
Life
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu
But, I watch WWE a bit too much. I am not a moron who believes all the 'kayfabe'. I like it for being the man made wonder that it is. I am digressing. Here's a quote from Poison Tzu - I am going to take competition to the next level and you will hate me. So much, that the word 'competitive' will become obsolete. I have discovered something about me. I have been through a lot of shit and that too in a fast forward mode. What I have found out is that I bounce back and I do that pretty good. No matter what life can throw at me, it wont make me get depressed and give up what I want. I, now pity those little people who whine about the tiny little details of their sophisitcated lives. No offence is intended. Do try to reform, though. Maybe you will see the light inside the tunnel itself. Going on through a damn dark tunnel enticed by the little light of hope at the end of the tunnel is pretty redundant. Make the tunnel itself alight. And ignore the rats scurrying along the dingy floor. I try to do that with varying degrees of success, within my feeble human limitations.
Btw we had a bike trip to Kovalam. Read about it here at the chronicles of duttan..
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Thursday, September 15, 2005
16 comments
Se7en deadly revelations!!!
Se7en deadly revelations!!!
Jithu tagged me for this quiz. I think that the stuff that I list here may probably make me go crazy when I read it after say 5 years, provided I am alive then.
Seven things you plan to do before you die!!
– go to africa
– learn more wing chun (I am stretched hard for time now..)
– help people who are in need
– buy an old Fiat 1100 (the Padmini)
– procure the engine and running parts of a Ferrari 360 modena
– modify the Fiat and put the Ferrari parts in it >:-)
– go to Shaolin Temple and pay homage driving my Fiat
Seven things you can do!!
– read the Road to Omaha one more time
– write inane blunders
– be an objective critic of life
– ramble about starting a new religion
– be very obnoxious
– can also be very amiable (it all depends on the stars, they say..)
– watch WWE like a moron
Seven things you can’t do!! (sorry for the straight ctrl+v ,Jithu; am lazier than thee)
– i can’t complete things until it is the last minute
– i can’t say no to people
– i can’t help being too altruistic
– i can’t help myself from my laziness
– i can’t stop laughing at people who are over-concerned about the little difficulties of life
– i can’t understand emotionally affected people
– i can’t go around apologizing when I mess things up.
Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!!
– emotional intelligence
– eyes
– voice
– altruism
– talents (nothing specific)
– I cant think of a 6th one
– silly me. The 7th one is like the 6th one..
Seven things you say most!!
– uh huh.
– van / kidlilam / sparry - cet slang
– you don’t understand me, do you?
– kaduthu
– payye thanne – cet slang (again :P)
– pleassse
– enikku vayya….
Seven celebrity crushes!!
– renee zellweger ( jerry maguire )
– gwyneth paltrow ( shakespeare in love)
– shania twain
– claire forlani ( meet joe black )
– kate winslet (eternal sunshine of the spotless mind)
– halle berry ( swordfish)
– charlize theron (sweet november, monster)
Seven people you want to take this quiz!!
– Auster
– Aravind
– Chips
– Duttan
– Niki
– Magneta
– Deepa
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Monday, September 12, 2005
24 comments
Homesick at home
Homesick at home
All my friends seem to be leaving for some kind of trips. Meanwhile I'm getting homesick, while in Trivandrum itself...
Somehow a deep feeling of parting has gripped me; it tells me that I wont be around for long....
So I've been enjoying the sights and sounds of my hometown while I'm still in it.Not through any trips or anything, just by appreciating the city while i go through it in my banal existence.
The variety that it hosts....the things you wont see anywhere else....All this while I've been planning on jumping Ship from Trivandrum ...now I seem rather reluctant..
so said kickassso the in(s)ane one @ Monday, September 12, 2005
9 comments
The Guardian Angel
The Guardian Angel
People say that unloading your mind’s burdens to a stranger is the best cure for your mental angst. I, for one, know what mental angst is. It is a constant companion. I remember the dark chapters of my life quite often. Depressive spells usually follow.
I had an accident today. I lost control of my bike and am quite lucky to be alive, so to say. The fall triggered something in my brain. I was suddenly in analyse-the-past mood. About the things I have messed up in my life.
Some people say that they would not change a thing if they had a second chance at life. If I ever had such an opportunity, I would erase my life and rewrite the Book of Poison.
I was in a devilish mood, listening to an endless playlist. The filth of life was floating around me. Skeletons were staring at me from all angles. They were all live beings. Walking out of their closets, flaunting their presence. The nerves grew numb.
I have a mask. I am not what you think I am. I am a person whom even I detest. I am a devil. I spread misery and hurt. Things are past redemption.
Seeing this, an angel was perturbed and she came down from her pristine abode to see the mortal’s present plight. The man was turning into a devil. Could anything be salvaged from his carcass?
The devil ranted. The dark chapters flowed like a river of clotting blood. The seraph did not turn away in disgust. She had an amazing patience and listen to him, she did. The devil soon lost the fire in him. The man was surprised to see the nature of the information transfer which had occurred while he was dormant.
He was ashamed. He cried. He hid his face in his hands, lest any one glance at him. He was broken and alone. She talked to him. The matter was irrelevant. He felt a strange peace. The angel spread her gossamer wings and flew back to the greatest heights of heaven.
The angel accepted the existence of the devil and did not give him the treatment which he had deserved. The devil was confused. The road to hell was still in front of him. He stopped traveling to his destination, where a fiery hearth awaited him.
The battle against sleep was beginning. Death is but eternal sleep, so they say. Is it?
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Friday, September 09, 2005
27 comments
System - Modelling of a Human Being?
System - Modelling of a Human Being?
As I am writing this blog, I would like to say that this is entirely in the realm of philosophy and science.
Let's begin. As systems go we might have various classifications for the systems. I dont intend to dwelve on the details of it. But what I intend to do is treat Humans as just another system. This might seem entirely impossible for some. Their reaction would be that we are living beings; dynamic, with a mind of our own. I do agree that its difficult at this juncture to completely explain the complex character of ones mind fully.
Just like any other system human beings could be modelled by using sufficiently advanced models and modelling techniques. What we usually neglect as random behaviour is usually because we dont know what's causing it. All those who have studied statistics would know that we would try to find a correlation in the different parameters of a system to find a meaningful relation in the parameters. What this translates into is maybe we could synthesize a model which would be able to show the behaviour of the particular human on which its modelled.
Coming to this modelling of humans, I mean mathematically, we will have to set certain parameters. These parameters could be infinite if we go into detail as is any systems for that matter. So we will just consider certain important aspects only. That's their response time. This includes both mental and physical,and the type of response involved. What is critical for a successful prediction of human behaviour ,atleast to some extent , is that we need to consider the environment in which he is living. This makes the task which was already extremely complex more so. So the environment really translates into the mental state of the system (human). The mental states are characterised by both instantaneous and long term.
Here long term mental state means how you are optimistic, pessimistic etc. to name some. Optimistic just means that those inputs which do have an outside chance of unsettling thr balance of the system is not viewed with as much concern as in a pessimistic system. Yes, they are relative. Pessimist for some one can be optimist for some other. It also depends on the change in the global environment. Here 'Global' term is used to denote the sum whole of all the env this system comes in contact with. Thus certain parameters can be set. Besides similarly a different set is about emotions. Which is are sets of decision mechanisms implemented. Where the outward effects are smiling crying etc.
The most important characterstic of a living being is its learnability which translates if good enough into adaptability. It would be the most difficult to implement if all others are ever implemented. The only outside chance I believe exist is using extremely efficient artificial neural nets or analog nueral nets. Thus we would have created a some kind of a model of a system. If we are able to update this modelregularly we might be able to obtain behaviour of the model to be consistent with one which is modelled.
Its just because that it was a terrific Idea that I posted it. I know lotta this stuff might be boring.
so said frantic the in(s)ane one @ Thursday, September 08, 2005
7 comments
Ramblings of a mad Ytradian shaman
Ramblings of a mad Ytradian shaman
The waters are lashing all around me. I have no one to look up to. It must be God who had sent the raging waters to destroy my peace and my abode. This life of mine has been one of no particular consequence to him. I have no salvation. If there is a hell, it must have been made for me to be my eternal abode of grace. Grace among the lashing fires and flames of hell, which have been so lovingly described by various poets, philosophers and religious writers. Some of them say that the human being has the essence of the almighty within his paltry flesh and bone shell. If that be the case, I am the God of no power. Yet, there is power within me. The power of destruction, the power of creation and most importantly, the power to influence the lives of others, and hence the world in general. I want to conquer the world, and become its master. The God of the legion of all mercenaries of the world. Megalomania and schizophrenia pervade the ulterior pathways of my brain as I run amok, confused in the maze of grey cells which constitute the building blocks of my brain. As I wander through the tunnels of guilt and through hallways lit with floodlights of fame and infamy, I wonder why I am doing what I am doing. What is the purpose of life other than breathing in air till the instant when life goes out of my frail body. The human body is a feeble cage of flesh and bone, encased in millimeter thick skin. It is a castle without a moat. A castle made of clay, which withers to mud in the event of a deluge of offensives. There are infinite methods to blow out the flame of life from men’s living shells. Such is the impotence of human life. It must be more clear than ever to you that I am a mad man. I want to destroy the world. The world is not against me yet. Soon, they will realize the menace that I pose to them. They will rise in numbers and lash against the fort of my defence. They will attempt to flush me out from my fort. But, I am a God, am I not? Why should I yield to the world. The world yields to me instead. Bow to me you fools. I will make your life living hell no matter what you do. I will rule over your nation. The end of the universe is my dream. The aim of my existence. Once, the soul is flushed out of me, there wont be any reason for me to continue life on earth. The life on earth will cease as you know it, when I am gone. When I am gone from the face of this world, a new world shall begin; a world which has no resemblance to this world of yours. A world for me. A world different from yours. Where I have absolute control over everything. I relish control, I do. I am not a control freak and I know that I am contradicting myself again and again. Hear me, or not, I am the end. The beginning was never known. The end will be posthumously famous in its own right.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Saturday, September 03, 2005
21 comments
Impromptu
Impromptu
That would be that best describes my blogging technique. It is not my cuppa to create drafts and reread it many a times to create a perfect blog. So how does one blog. Select a topic. Think about what you think about it. Think what you will write about it. Think how you will write about it. Think about people will read it. The list is endless. You can actually go on thinking on about those things or you can actually starting typing away as I usually do.
Here its pure joy of the words being shown on the screen as its on my mind. This means that never before the instant I am typing I didnt know what I am typing. I dont think like that. I just need to let my instincts take over where by I can write what I want, when I want without any hassles etc.
This all translates into a blog in which I dont tell anything but what is readable. What would I really like to tell people? Just that all your problems and their solutions lie in your head. Of course, many might debate this, and it should be debated whether I am wrong or right.
What I have percieved is that there is never enough debate which goes deep enough into the matter. What more I can say sanely at this moment in time I am seriously pondering over. It seems the answer is eluding me, that means that this particular blog is coming to an end. Period.
so said frantic the in(s)ane one @ Tuesday, August 30, 2005
The cloud and the sun
The cloud and the sun
The day grows darker by the moment. What evil have I done to provoke the clouds? The noon is a shadow; veiled by sadness as life moves on merciless, indifferent to turmoils in men's minds.
The sun takes a peep sporadically, tempting with the offer of his warmth. Yet, his golden rays do make the waters take to the sky and mask his divine face. The clouds do defy the sun.
The offspring has outperformed his creator. He flaunts his bulk, casting long shadows of despair. He spews cruel rains, massacring and marauding; yet, he too provides life. Is the sun's intention justified?
Yet, when the heavens pour, the respite is hard to earn. The soul drowns in its watery grave. The incessant patter of rain pervades life itself. The waters rise and rise ominously. A losing battle against nature ensues.
How long will this struggle last? Is it a retribution for the ingrate? The ingrate is also justified in his deeds, or so he believes.
He spurns his father, who caused him to live. The sun's shadow is dampened by the clouds which spew drops of fury.
Why is the sun considered good? The sun is a murderer; he kills. So too, does the cloud. A vicious dynasty indeed.
When will this interlude end?
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Friday, August 26, 2005
26 comments
Railguns and Peace
Railguns and Peace
I saw the term railgun for the first time when I had played the PC game Quake. It was projected as a single shot kill weapon. It became more famous when the movie Eraser had the railgun in it as a central theme. More and more games are being published with the railgun in it. To be honest, I didn't know that such a thing existed for real.
17/08/2005 was the deadline for submitting the seminar topics for S7. I had lifted(or acquired through piracy via barter system or whatever) a seminar on "Electronic Stability Control"(ESC) , from a friend in another college. The plan was to get it approved and the job would be half done. Unfortunately, the faculty member had insisted on us to submit two topics. I was tired of searching for topics, and rang up my friend Sarat, who is studying in TKM. He gave me a list of the stuff being put up by the people over there, as possible semiar topics. The name "Railgun" kinda caught my fancy and I begged him to mail me its abstract. I took the printouts and was on my way, to get ESC approved(hopefully).
Fate had other plans. The teacher was suddenly adamant that I should take a seminar on railguns. I tried my best to convince her that it was not a good topic and ESC was a far better choice. My bargaining skills had left me in a fix. I was seeing railguns staring at me from all angles as I left her room.
The professors and lecturers in my college are peace fanatics. When I had presented a paper on "The Electromagnetic Bomb", at the college, the judges were viewing me and my partner as possible terrorists, even though we tried in vain to make them understand that we were simply trying to increase the awareness about the existence of such weapons. One man, in particular, wanted to know if we wanted to kill any one using the e bomb(as if we had made the damn thing). Rumour has it that this particular man will probably be a judge for the railgun seminar. In simple terms, I am in a tight spot. I must somehow try and make them feel that railguns are as peaceful as baby pacifiers.
By the way, railguns consist of two parallel rails, with a groove between them. A conductive projectile aka armature is placed at the supply end of the rails. A very high power dc supply is used to fire the railgun. For this, a capacitor bank may be used. The current moves up one rail, passes through the projectile, and goes down the other rail. The projectile experiences a constant accelerating Lorentz force F=B*I*l and is acclerated along the rails. The longer the rails, greater is the velocity attained by the projectile. This technology is still in its developmental state as the projectile vaporises the rails as it acclerates to very high velocities like say, 20km/s, in a very short time. Reusability is almost zilch. Also, the rails have to braced against immense deforming electromagnetic forces.
Other than the possibility of its use as an explosive-free weapon, the railgun is also considered as a possible mass driver. It can probably(hopefully!) be used to slingshot projectiles into space, and eliminating the need for rockets. Other than that, it can act as a Peacemaker in wars of the future.
;)
addendum ==>>
a pair of judges keen about weaponry happened to be the judges and i aced the seminar. ha!
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Thursday, August 18, 2005
22 comments
A freak
A freak
I am an excellent actor. How can it be otherwise, with so many actors surrounding me, misleading me throughout my life. I have learnt to take things as they are. There are certain things which never disappear. They will torture me for eternity. Most people know me as a normal person. I am not normal. I am damn good as an actor, I guess. An actor of life. There are times at which I lose my mask. The agony is beyond words. I go into long depressive spells, spewing chaos around me. Then everything goes blank. I am fickle. I had written in the last post that I had quit this blog. That is also intoned in my profile. Either I am a liar or am a sensationalist. If I say what I did this morning, most people would puke. I watched a documentary on autopsies. The few persons to whom I spoke about this seemed to appear disgusted and viewed me as a freak. Only, they did not dare to call me a freak to my face. I wonder if any one would understand my view on this. I like knowledge. As a matter of fact, I think I can do a pretty decent post mortem on my own, bar the analysing part, for which I would need more knowledge on biochemistry. That is the essence of philosophy, I think. The pursuit of knowledge. With more knowledge, I can act better and also, become more lethal.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Friday, August 12, 2005
25 comments
No more interference
No more interference
I am quitting the blog world. Life is too goddamned screwed up.I might well reveal the innards of my soul, if I keep blogging.I am calling it quits for now.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, August 10, 2005
25 comments
Going with the Flow
Going with the Flow
I have always gone with the flow. It may be that that I am too meek to rebel against the flow. When I was doing my schooling, the majority of my friends had opted for engineering as their preferred avenue of higher education and hell, I joined the bandwagon, ending up in an engineering college, studying something which I don't particularly like. Most of my colleagues at college, have been recruited at campus by IT companies, and little wonder that I too opted for the same. I am indecisive at times and I look at the flow of humanity around me, for help. I tried to analyse it, and found it beyond my bounds. So, I plunged into it. Coming to think of it, I have never plunged into the flow. I have always been part of the flow. Nowadays, MBA entrance examinations and their coaching seem to be the ports along which the river flows. I have joined the main stream. I wonder if the flow will spout streams which will eventually break away from the parent, and carve its own way through the sands of time.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Sunday, August 07, 2005
29 comments
Ego
Ego
Chips http://holeinthewall.rediffblogs.com/ had tagged me to take this quiz a long time ago. Being the fool that I am, I had searched for the quiz link then. It had only clicked to me later that I was supposed to make this one up myself. I have seen these quizes in many blogs since then, and one fact that I have come to notice is that all of these were centred on the number three. Three things this, three things that, etc. Why is three so alluring to us? So, for a change, I have substituted “some” for “three” in this post ‘cos I am a mild couch potato kind of rebel!
SOME NAMES YOU GO BY:
Ashok
Shocky
Akosotto
SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
CashOK
Dragonfighter
SOME PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My mind( is that physical? Very well. The brain, then)
My body(apart from the brain :->)
SOME PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
Inflexibility( I wan2 b more gymnastic )
PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
I'm an Indian,
I’m secretive.
Darwin says my ancestors were monkeys.
THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
Failure.
EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
A phone.
A vehicle.
Fuel in the vehicle.
Balance in the phone.
THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
Bermudas
THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Total independence.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in that order):
I like Wing Chun.
I love cheating in PC games.
I'm not lazy.
SOME PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
Eyes,
Face,
Voice.
THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Try to understand Control Systems.
Wash the bike and the dog.
CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING:
Software Engineer
Management Guru
Spiritual Guru
Professional Assassin
Maybe a combination of the above four (any takers?)
PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
Anywhere in Africa.
KID NAMES YOU LIKE:
Z (pronounced ZEE, for a gal, ZED for a guy! The gr8 thing is that this person wont have to write lab exams o the very 1st day ‘cos his/her name begins with A)
THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Seek perfection in this world.
PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
If you’re reading this, and would like to take it, do it !
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Friday, August 05, 2005
12 comments
Addicted
Addicted
I am an addict. Its about time that I admitted that to the world. There is no point in hiding it. It has become part of my life. No running away from it.
I was hooked at a tender age. My neighbour had a Russian PC (made in the USSR. hehe!!! not joking, not joking ) and the the year was 1991 AD. He used to let me mess around with it. I somehow managed to find a Pac-Man clone in that rig and to his consternation, refused to give up the computer for hours at a stretch. I was an innocent and the devil was wreaking havoc in my head.
I couldn't convince my parents to get me a computer then, as it was still considered more of a luxury than a necessity. I attacked hand held consoles and TV games with a vengeance for many years. The funny thing is that I was never good in any game. It seemed that most of my friends had a natural flair in gaming. I was the eternal loser, except to the occasional nOOb(newbie). Life went on and I continued gaming at all the places where I could without hurting my purse, ie. at friends' places. I was a leech, in a sense.
Finally I got a rig in the next millenium, in 2000 AD. It was a riot. I played all kinds of games in it. Bring me a game and I would have played it, irrespective of its playability and how good (or bad) it was. I used to spend long long hours in front of the Philips 105s monitor, fighting demons, leading armies, kicking ass, et al. And there was a very interesting team working behind this. I was working the keyboard, on movements and weapon selections, etc. and my friend and neighbour, Subin was handling the mouse. This was considered freakish by many. Anyways, we were really coordinated and skilled together. And, while playing alone, we were both dunces. I kept upgrading the rig periodically, telling my parents that it was absolutely necessary for running new versions of C++ and what not.
Then began the cheating era. I have become a very lazy person nowadays. I don't want to work hard, and my primary aim is to use shortcuts, in real life and in the virtual one. I began using cheats, on all games, for finishing them faster. I can't be called a gamer in the true sense any more. I am an unskilled devil in an evolving game world. But, I win, 'cos I cheat.
I was addicted to games at one point in my life. Now I am addicted to the habit of using cheats on all the games that I play. I wonder, whether I will resort to fraudulent practices in future, in 'real' life, that is.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, August 03, 2005
31 comments
Kung Fu fighting...those guys are fast as lightning...
Kung Fu fighting...those guys are fast as lightning...
The background music changes when it happens. If it’s an out and out action flick, the music gets pumped up. You’ll know that something is up. If it’s more of the artistic kind of flick, then usually the music goes serene, like in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I am referring to the action scenes in Chinese martial arts films and their Hollywood counterparts.
The martial art films show glorified action. Artistic and good looking, they sure are, most of the time at least. The high kicks and magnificent ( make that impossible, without strings attached ) aerial tricks make people drool in awe. But, are they practical? You tell me.
Picture this. The hero does a perfectly executed high kick to the villain. The point is that the villain takes it, just because he is paid for it. The high flying hero is actually the prime example of what to avoid during a fight. What if, the villain had some brains? The scene would go like this then. Hero swivels on to one side and raises a foot up. The foot is rising up and extending, like a cobra’s head, getting ready for the strike. Impressive, eh?
Here’s whats going on in the intelligent villain’s mind. “The guy in front of me is raising his leg, like my dog does, when he pees. Well, his right leg is still on the ground, and all his weight is concentrated on it. Voila! I will kick that knee of his from under him.“
The villain kicks the hero’s knee in. His knee bends and breaks. Hero goes down, and the villain moves in for the kill (since villains are vengeful by nature)!
There are a lot of unnecessary moves used in martial arts. What we need a stripped version. One that makes sense. One which is effective and lethal, and easy to understand. One whose principles were employed by our hypothetical villain.
The answer is simple – Wing Chun kung fu ( heard of it? )
The Wing Chun technique was actually devised by a Buddhist nun Ng Mui who passed the techniques to her student Yim Wing Chun ( it means ‘forever spring’ ) They were both women of small stature. Yet, the technique enabled them to down bigger opponents.
The father of modern Wing Chun is Yip Man, who had made Hong Kong his residence, and started a martial arts school there. Among his more illustrious students was a man who became known to the world as Bruce Lee. Bruce went to America and revolutionized kung fu. In those days, teaching foreigners kung fu was considered taboo. Legend says, Bruce defeated the masters who had opposed his decision to teach kung fu to all, in a very very short time. When he went into the movie industry, the simple lethal attacks of Wing Chun were not considered to have the awe inspiring effect of sweep kicks and high kicks. He gave the public what they wanted, and they loved it. He incorporated most of Wing Chun and started a new style Jeet Kune Do. Bruce had not completed the Wing Chun system under Yip Man. He had emigrated before he had completed the system.
Coming to the practical side, how would you throw a punch? The usual approach is to withdraw the punching hand back and then the fist is released with all force from its position near the shoulder towards the head of the opponent. In Wing Chun, the fist would travel from wherever its present position may be and in a straight line towards the opponent with all muscles relaxed. Power is applied only on contact. This is a very fast and effective punch. The best defence is offence. The fights hardly last a minute. One will be down and out in a very short time. Wing Chun employs the centre line technique in attacks and defence moves. An interesting thing is that opponent’s attacks are not blocked. They are redirected away from the body.
Wing Chun fights take place with the participants very close to each other. The question inevitably rises as to whether long range moves can be defended. The answer is simple. How do you physically hit an opponent unless he/she is in short range? Think about it.
I could go on writing more about Wing Chun. But that would be a monotonous diatribe. Just Google for Wing Chun for more info on it.
In my opinion, Wing Chun is THE martial art !
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Sunday, July 24, 2005
Finally !!!
Finally !!!
I am not ashamed to say that that I have my little prejudices. Well, I am human. The cause of this statement is my discovery of Ayn Rand. I loathe political pieces. I love reading fiction. Somehow, it was ingrained in my mind that Rand was a political writer, a writer of philosophy. I am still wondering how I got that notion.
I got my hands on my first Ayn Rand book "The Fountainhead" yesterday ( intrigued by ~*. D E E P A .* ~ 's comment ). I don't think I can do anything else, until I finish it. Its got me hooked. I have, but started reading it. But, I think I know a good book, when I start reading it. Friends, don't be prejudiced against Ayn Rand, like I was. Its damn good to read. I wonder how the book ends. There so many great writers, who unfortunately lack the talent to end their masterpieces with a flourish. I do hope Rand knows how to.
This is where I gotta stop writing. At least, till I finish the book.
so said -Poison- the in(s)ane one @ Wednesday, July 20, 2005
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