Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Untitled

What exactly are “sanity” and “insanity” ?

Wiki says –

Sanity considered as a legal term denotes that an individual is of sound mind and therefore can bear legal responsibility for his or her actions. It is generally defined in terms of the absence of insanity. It is not a medical term, although the opinions of medical experts are often important in making a legal decision as to whether someone is sane or insane. It is also not the same concept as mental illness. One can be acting under profound mental illness and yet be sane, and one can also be ruled insane without an underlying mental illness.

Sanity outside of legal definitions has been little explored by science and medicine, as the concentration has been on illness. Dr. P.S. Graven suggested the term "un-sane" to describe a condition that is not exactly insane, but not quite sane either

I thought I was becoming sane. But now, its all really vague since no one really knows what exactly the word sane means. There are no clear cut definitions anywhere. An absence of insanity, they say, is sanity. So what is insanity. I think that is something that has also been subjected to much research by persons vastly more able than I currently am.

What I had considered to be sane was to have ‘normal’ trains of thought. Go utterly with the flow, ie. I even studied for exams, something that which I never do for internal evaluation exams. Lol! Anyway, the bottomline is that I don’t think I like that kind of ‘sanity’. I am more comfortable acting out the role of the pseudo thinker. Coming to think of it, these pseudo thoughts are something that I crave for now. I appear to have lost that questioning mindset that I used to have, in the past few months.

So this is an exercise which may be entirely futile! Still I guess I can write any amount of utter bull shit in my blog. *angelic*

Destiny is a thing which always arouses my curiosity. Are things pre destined?

A group of people think that everything is ‘written’ or has been pre destined. Another set believes that nothing beats free will and free will is the alfa and omega of everything. A lot of others, frankly don’t give a shit about the concepts at all. Just live. Why grow confused over questions whose answers we might never happen to find out. Heh! I guess its fun just to keep pondering. Who knows, maybe someone will find out the secret to everything one day.

There are a lot of astrologers, seers and people with crystal balls and tarot cards, around the globe. There have also been prophets. Some point out that that the Bible is a huge prophecy, most of whose predictions have occurred correctly. And then there are the Indian astrologers who write the Jaathakam or future of little children based on their times of birth. Most of these concepts are dismissed as quacks and coincidences by logical minds.

But the fact is that there are a lot of predictions which do come true. The people who made those prophecies must have some kind of future sensing powers, at the moment of writing the prophecies, at least. They can also be treated this way – that they are just general projections of the future and would probably occur. It’s a game of poker then. And the accurate prophecy is an intelligent bluff. There is also the approach, where once a person has been shown his/her Jaathakam, he/she might actually try to act out the drama subconsciously, tending to adhere to the predictions. Oh well..Anything can happen.

Coming back to the point, what strikes me is that if some people have been able to predict the future accurately, there lies a possibility of all things being written. We don’t have a say in our lives then. What we consider to be our free choices were actually decided in advance by some intricate system. Everything suddenly becomes a huge system which has specific responses to definite excitations. Nothing’s unpredictable with the system. Free will becomes an illusion then.

I got this point of view from watching the movie ‘Waking Life’. A professor tells the protagonist that –


It starts to look like all our decisions are really just a charade.

Think about how it happens. There's some electrical activity in your brain. Your neurons fire. They send a signal down into your nervous system. It passes along down into your muscle fibers. They twitch. You might, say, reach out your arm. It looks like it's a free action on your part, but every one of those – every part of that process is actually governed by physical law, chemical laws, electrical laws, and so on.

So now it just looks like the big bang set up the initial conditions, and the whole rest of human history, and even before, is really just the playing out of subatomic particles according to these basic fundamental physical laws. We think we're special. We think we have some kind of special dignity, but that now comes under threat. I mean, that's really challenged by this picture.

So you might be saying, “Well, wait a minute. What about quantum mechanics? I know enough contemporary physical theory to know it's not really like that. It's really a probabilistic theory. There's room. It's loose. It's not deterministic.” And that's going to enable us to understand free will. But if you look at the details, it's not really going to help because what happens is you have some very small quantum particles, and their behavior is apparently a bit random. They swerve. Their behavior is absurd in the sense that its unpredictable and we can't understand it based on anything that came before. It just does something out of the blue, according to a probabilistic framework. But is that going to help with freedom? I mean, should our freedom be just a matter of probabilities, just some random swerving in a chaotic system? That starts to seem like it's worse. I'd rather be a gear in a big deterministic physical machine than just some random swerving.


(This might be copyrighted stuff…I got this from a screenplay of the movie ‘Waking Life’.. acknowledgements to whomsoever concerned)

Yea yea..whatever!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Back to Normal

I think I am becoming sane these days.. :)

Monday, April 17, 2006

Wana be a HitMan?


A manual for an assassin can be found here!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Tag~~~Tag~~~Tag

I have decided to honour Niki Chan's tag!
Here goes..


1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.

“The resulting decimal numbers are added together to..”

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
I touch a window grill.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

The news in NDTV!


4.Without looking, guess what time it is?
5.00pm?

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
4:29pm. Time’s not as fast as I am!


6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
My neighbour’s budgerigars making their usual ruckus. ~x(

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Yesterday evening. Was out to ride the bike.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Niki Bakshi’s blog!

9. What are you wearing?
Bermudas.

10. Did you dream last night?
A lot..I don’t remember anything though..

11. When did you last laugh?
Some hours ago, when kickassso showed me the different interpretations of the word ‘chetta’!


12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A dead clock, a calendar, an angle baton with a CFL, A switchboard, A fan regulator, A power socket, PVC conduits, A tube light, a photo of my grandparents whom I never knew, then there’s the paint on the walls! I think that’s it!

13 Seen anything weird lately?
Yesterday night as I was riding home, I saw this boozed guy on a bicycle standing still for some seconds and then falling down.


14. What do you think of this quiz?
Its pretty funny alright!

15. What is the last film you saw?
Det Sjunde Inseglet (The Seventh Seal)

16. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A lot of plane tickets!

17. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
I change my views on religion very very frequently.


18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would prefer peace..(sounds kinda corny)

19. Do you like to dance?
Nope!

20. George Bush.
I used to hate him, then I sympathized with him. Now I pity him!


21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Z(Zee)


22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Z(Zed)

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yup..Doesn’t look like that will happen anytime soon!


24.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
”Surprise!”

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in their journal.
Aravind, Anand, Divya, Geo

An interesting point of view



In the movie 'Le Mari de la Coiffeuse' , the protagonist Antoine says(in a voice over) that
-
My father said that, life is simple.
That if you wanted something hard enough, you would get it.
Failure was proof that the desire wasn't strong enough.
(Translated from French..What would i do without subtitles!)

Friday, April 14, 2006

Cinema

I am a film buff. I have lost count of the movies that I’ve watched over the years. I wasn’t much of a movie freak till I had reached high school. I used to watch Hindi, Malayalam and English movies sporadically till then. The proportion was also roughly equally distributed. Then cable TV entered my life and I was glued to the idiot box watching Star Movies, HBO, ZeeMGM(now Zee Studio), Hallmark and TNT. I watched a lot of Hollywood movies and frankly, I fell in love with them. These were the originals, which were being so crassly remade in vernaculars. They had a certain finesse, which was sadly lacking in most Bollywood and Malayalam movies.

In the year 2000, a personal computer entered my life, and I had never foreseen that it would become so much a part of my life, as it has become now. It had a 50x compact disc drive and I got myself the membership of some four or five video rental shops. I and my friend made their business lively by regularly picking up obscure titles and watching them. Hollywood isn’t all good, all the time. There is a lot of shit that Hollywood turns out every year. Yet I was hooked to them. Also there were a lot of European films that came on cable TV, which I really adored. Their level of artistry and sensitivity left quite an impression on my mind.

These days, I have graduated from the business of renting movies to watch them. Nowadays, I procure movies which are with my friends. I got the chance to Apocalypse Now Redux in this manner. Its one of my favorites now. It was Coppola at his best. The movies I get to watch are mostly pirated/downloaded. But for an addict like me, it is manna. A recent trend that I have observed in me is that, I have started to fall in love with the cinema of the Orient – Korean, Chinese and Japanese films. Park Chan Wook’s Vengeance trilogy is uparalleled. So is Hero, a Jet Li movie, which I cherish for its being sheer art, in motion. Its acknowledged that Kurosawa movies are classics.

Ingmar Bergman and Bertolucci seem to have invaded my time these days. A frantic friend of mine had got a goldmine from his cousin. The goldmine was a 200GB collection of classic movies, music and comics. Ah! It seems like I have my schedules made up for me.

How many movies did I watch today? I am a bit fuzzy in the head. I have to check to find it out. It seems that I saw Ladri di biciclette(The Bicycle Thief), Le Mari De La Coiffeuse(The Hairdresser’s Husband) and Infernal Affairs(Chinese) today. Three beautiful films. The Bicycle Thief saw me yelling out to the protagonist who seemed to be destined to doom. Infernal Affairs keeps its audience glued to the monitor. Le Mari De La Coiffeuse was a movie which was poignantly sad. In it, the beauty of woman is perfectly captured. An excellent movie it was.

I think that if I die and go to heaven, it would be a storehouse of movies, of all sorts, and genres. If its hell, the monitor might be broken or something of that sort. But then..what do I know, I am just an ignoramus.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Holidays loom ahead. Lots to do. Nothings being done.

Abundance of time is a sweet illusion.
I am basking in this warm illision whiile it lasts.
But..its damn hard to be idle.
Something or the other always forces me out of my cocoon.
I just want to laze around doing absolutely nothing..
Yet remain a spectator of everything...

Saturday, April 8, 2006

The Wanderer Tags!

The Wanderer has made me the victim of this brutal tag....


5 people who top your sh1t list..... and why:


a) Karunakaran… ‘Cos he is leading his flock to lala land.

b) Adolf Hitler… ‘Cos he was you know what.

c) Osama bin Laden… For doing what he does.

d) Tony Blair… ‘Cos he’s a puppy.

e) All forms of extremists.


Close brushes with death/danger:

a) In 3rd standard, when I veered my bicycle in the path of a KSTRC bus. Screeching tires and smoking rubber. I escaped.

b) In the 2nd year of my grad, I was en route to a university lab exam when this old lady jumps in front of me and then backtracked, right into me. I skidded away, managing to spare her, and narrowly missed a rock which was lying too close to comfort to the place where my head was(Wasn’t wearing a helmet). Got a lot of patchwork.

c) In the 4th year of my grad, a lady decided to take a U turn just when I had reached near her. Screeccch…The rear wheel hit a pool of slush and here I was looking at the world spinning around me. My head(sans helmet) narrowly missed the divider and I skidded away to the side of the road. Again, some patchwork.

5 Preferable modes of suicide, in descending order:

a) Potassium Cyanide, and other potent poisons.

b) Guillotine, with self activation facility.

c) Shotgun to the head.

d) Systematic and quick electrocution.(I am an electrical grad student)

e) Ride with my eyes closed and hope for a quick death.


5 Guilty pleasures:

I don’t feel much guilt about anything that I do these days.

5 things you never want to forget:

This is going to sound corny, but here goes. I don’t really want to hold on to any particular memory forever.

But I would like to remember all the people whom I’ve met over the years, since it would be really an insult to them when suddenly I don’t appear to remember them.

5 things you wish to forget:

a) The past

b) What’s left when the past is gone.

Call me an escapist…

5 really exotic dishes you have tried:

This quiz is probably my undoing. I am not a foodie. People often ask me if I am a newbie in the food department.

a) Paav Bhaji (exotic to me!)

b) Clams

c) Chicken Shawai(if that is exotic)

d) Squid fry

e) Roast boar



5 crushes/loves in your life... in chronological order (even initials or nicknames wud do. Oh, no ID attempts or requests pleez):


a) Shobhana Chandrakumar

b) Cindy Crawford

c) Brooke Shields

d) Aishwarya Rai

e) Shania Twain

5 won’t cover ‘em all!


Strangest dream you ever had:


An eye which kept staring at me from the bottom frame of a door.

It never flinched no matter what I did to it.

Strangest, because I had that dream first when I was in primary school, and it was telecast again some days ago. Funny thing is I remembered that dream. I scarcely remember any dream during my waking life.


5 most valued personal possessions:

a) The contacts lists in my computer and my phone.

b) Motorcycle

c) Mobile phone

d) Hard disk

e) All these are mere chattels, except item #a. A fifth one, I cannot think of.

5 favorite superheroes..... and why:

a) Conan the Barbarian – The comic strips rock.

b) The Phantom – Childhood awe.

c) Tarzan - Ditto

d) Spawn – I love the concept.

e) Monkey – from Dexter’s lab.