May 1, 2007

May 1, 2007 – The morning was horrible. It felt like I was made of crystal and put together using dry putty. Any posture was impossible. I didn’t have a temperature. Still, I was shivering like anything for almost four hours. It subsided after that. I have never been a conventionally religious person. I had my own theories and hypotheses and I stood by them, albeit their being mercurial in their nature. I never subscribed to the concept of sin, and I had a clear conscience most of the time. If I turn back and look at my life, and how I have lived it so far, from a conventional zealot’s point of view, it would be nothing less than a confetti sin festival. Karma. Maybe it’s all coming back to me. Maybe it’s all the play of freak chance and fickle fate. I wonder what fate has lined up for me next. It has been complete and chaotic zemblanity, which has been prevailing over my life since the beginning of March. There is an old saying in Malayalam – Vinasha kaley vipareetha buddhi. Roughly translated it means, you make all the wrong decisions, when your time is not right. I have been making one too many, consistently. And la bilirubina has decided to be with me, at the same levels, which might cause some more new troubles, in the days ahead. At least it’s not increasing at stratospheric rates.