Visions

The eye never disappears. It is always there. In its socket, right at the bottom of the door. The decaying wood forms a reluctant home to this emotionless monster. Its white is crisscrossed with throbbing rivulets of purple. That gives it a sinister look, I suppose. But if one looks into the eye, it is devoid of anything other than an insatiable curiosity. Its gaze follows me as I move around. I don’t like this feeling.

One night has passed. The eye is still at its job. Its eyelids untiring. I just noticed that its eyelids lacked lashes. I thought it to be peculiar. Why does it have any eyelids at all? It never blinks. I still didn’t give a damn. It continued its curious perch in the bottom frame of the door.

I can’t take it any more. I am going to kill the eye. I abused it verbally; it stared at me unflinching. I threw sand at it; it still mocked me. I thrust a rusty knife into it; the jelly oozed out of the wound, but it was mocking me still. Quite an iron will, it has.

Why the hell is the world going dark? Why are the lights flickering? Is it the dawn of the apocalypse? Probably not. I must be imagining things. Nothing is real, I say to myself quite often. Everything is a figment of my imagination. The eye refuses to vanish even though I command it. Hmm. I guess I am powerless over my imagination. It seems to have a will of its own.

Sadness is an animal emotion. It is sprinkled all over my dreams. I wake up feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. But why? Why should I feel responsible for anything. I can’t even be responsible for myself, technically. Because of reductionism. The chat bot tells me that “Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.”

Everything I do is because of the activities of the small particles that comprise me. They work according to a set of laws, most of which are still unknown to us. I don’t have free will. I can’t stop the eye from its unrelenting gaze. It refuses to dislodge from its nook, come hell or high water.

I wished that a tsunami would come and wipe out the door and the eye. It came and it went. But the door stood straight mocking at me, and the eye kept staring at me.