More Ramblings

There is a song that they play during Christian weddings in Hollywood movies. Peyy Peyy pe pe.. Peyy Peyy pe pe .. That's the same tune that I hear when the car which is parked downstairs moves in reverse.

Firecrackers mar the airs. The festival of lights Diwali has become a cracker fest over here. I've become so accustomed to hearing them over the past few days that I hardly give a second look when something goes boom. At this rate, I probably wouldn't recognize a bomb blast from a cracker blast. Ah..who cares.I am too apathetic anyway. Let them burn their boom crackers. To each his own.

Questions and crises are abound. I ought to be overwhelmed by them. Strangely, I feel insulated. I've my share of problems. Life was good for the past month. Was living it up like anything. Now troubles are aplenty. From almost every possible front. Yin Yang I guess. Maybe I am too shocked that I am in denial. I still act somewhat rationally, anyhow.

Purpose drives a man onward. I found my little goals and worked for them. Some for the heck of it, some with a strategy of sorts in mind. The funny thing is I don't know what the final purpose would be. The purpose of creating purposes. What would that be..

I am not a materialist in the complete sense. I sometimes tell my friends that I would rather live in some isolated Buddhist monastery, happily embracing their beliefs superficially at least. So that, I could be free from everything. My thoughts and beliefs may be at lockhorns with their's. But still that's a nice thought. Too large a dose of Discovery channel documentaries, I guess.

A gypsy is rooted to no place. He keeps moving. Maybe he is fleeing. Maybe he just wants to leave everything behind. Or for greener pastures. If he is looking for greener pastures, he would never settle down anywhere. No matter where he is, he would feel the urge to find something greener.

Is that ambition? Or is it just a self defined purpose, possibly fuelled by some unknown inborn nature. I read somewhere that there are two things that keep a man from progress - Fear and Laziness. Can someone be too lazy to be afraid? Does that make him a reverse moving cog in a forward moving human machine?

I am scribbling down this on a notepad. No idea why. For posterity's sake?! This notepad would probably not survive. I have more faith in the blogger servers.Why am I publishing this on a public site? Show off? Apathetic? A fool? Crazy, maybe. Maybe I am trying to reach out, just for communication's sake. Communication is a wonderful thing. Where would we be sans communication.

Anyway, this will form the starting point of the rest of my limited life. This post might cause a Butterfly effect on it. Self defeating or self fulfilling prophecies, maybe. Although I don't remember prophesying anything. I don't know if I am acting out a drama. Everything seems in place, in sync and pre-planned. Why?